Just Listen

I had one of “those” moments this week…you know, the kind that make you feel OLD!?!?!?  I generally subscribe to the theory that you are truly only as old as you think you are, and as a general rule the creaks and aches of an aging body don’t make me feel old.  I often forget how old I actually am and have to stop and think what my number is. :)  Every once in awhile, though, something happens to remind me that the hands of time just keep on going while I’m not paying attention.

I had the great pleasure of spending time with friends this week.  Often my crazy schedule doesn’t leave room for such luxuries, but this week, despite the looming deadlines for a multitude of projects, I chose to MAKE time, and that is a good thing.  One of my favorite things is sitting with a group of amazing, inspiring women just discussing LIFE and sharing the moments that make us laugh. This activity has a way of filling me up so I can go forth and live, and I cherish those moments.  The discussion, however, is not what struck me most this week, though.  It was my friends’ children that stopped me in my tracks.

A few of my friends still enjoy the blessing of having small children in their homes, and so we had the wonderful company of three- to four-year-olds while we visited.  There is nothing quite as joyful as the sweet grins on little ones' faces and it was surely a blessing to have them there.  The moment that stopped time for me was when they sat at the table with scissors and paper, crayons and glue, and talked.  They talked and they talked.  They giggled, they were serious, and they talked.  As we all noticed them, their moms commented that they really need to get them together more because then they could talk to each other since neither of them ever stop talking.  I wanted to cry.  Because I remember those days.  I remember listening until my ears hurt, and then listening some more.  I remember pudgy little three-year-old hands drawing me pictures and cutting out hearts and talking, talking, talking…I flashed back to conversations I remembered and to so many long forgotten.  I also flashed back to that feeling of hardly having the energy to listen for another moment, and I wanted more than anything to go back to that me and say, “Listen.  Just listen. Because you will blink and that little boy will be a teenager who will talk, but only if you wait, and wait, and wait…  That little girl will be a teenager who will talk, but only when she is home, and her schedule will be so full that you will long for her to be there to talk.  So just listen and hang on their words because someday you will want to remember every one.”  

Our children need us for so many things when they are little.  They need to be fed, bathed, and dressed.  They need us to make things better with a perfectly placed band-aid and to read a bedtime story before we tuck them in.  They need to be hugged and kissed and loved and taken to Sunday School to build their faith.  As they grow, some of those needs change.  They still need to be fed (in fact, I would argue that there is no greater need for a teenage boy :)) and hugged and kissed and loved and taken to Sunday School, but they start putting their own band-aids on and they start reading their own books.  They slowly become more and more independent and clearly that is what we want.  But one thing that never changes is their need to be listened to.  Truly, isn't that something we long for, even as adults, more than anything?  Someone to listen to us?  To hear us?  To show us that we matter enough to be heard?  

Our children are growing up in a world that can be daunting and scary.  They are dealing with many of the things we dealt with as children, but they are also dealing with so much more.  When I was a child, bullying meant that some boy pushed another one down on the playground.  Today, my children deal with texts, Facebook posts, tweets, blog posts, and more.  When I was a child, being ignored by a friend meant they didn't call you on the home telephone to talk or to invite you somewhere.  Today, it means being excluded from group messages, left out of activities in a public way as every moment of every event is plastered all over social media via posts and pictures that you aren't a part of.  Kids today have so many new ways to be mean and so much of what our children face is overwhelming and they simply cannot process it on their own.  So, they need us more than ever to just listen.  To listen, to understand, to hear, to care. 

And so it goes.  We pass through seasons in our life and it is always so much clearer from the other side just how amazing our life was.  Life with five children under ten was full and exhausting and made my ears hurt, but it was very, very good.  And now, life with five tweens and teens is busy and crazy and exhausting, but it is still very, very good.  I will make it my goal to remember that every day.  I won’t always succeed, but when I struggle, I will think of those little voices and I will smile.  And I will keep on listening.